Helmet-Head Rides Again!
I have cash once more. Cash is good. Cash is needed to buy hair gel, so when my hair dries each morning, it doesn't go all foofy. What do I mean by "foofy"? Well, picture what a cartoon cat looks like after coming out of a dryer: a giant, floating ball of fuzz with tiny tails and paws sticking out. Tails and paws obviously aside, that's what my hair looks like when given roughly 10 minutes to dry.
Not so long ago, my fiancee laughed when I told her this and wanted to see if I wasn't just over-exaggerating. A short time later that morning, she gawked and had to admit my hair did indeed have "cat-out-of-the-dryer" syndrome.
So, what's needed to stop this? Hair gel, natch. And not just a small amount of it. No, that would be too easy and simply a solution. You see, my hair is cunning and wily, and I really think it has a slightly sadistic bent since it always seems to be taunting me by doing exactly the opposite of what I would like it to. And thusly, in order to lay the proverbial smackdown on my hair (as a literal smackdown would, in effect, result in my smacking myself. And that hurts!) I must be a bit on the liberal side when lathering my hair up with gel.
Ergo, my hair becomes crunchy after gel application and the combing. Most people when they hear "helmet head" think that's what my hair would look like had I just been wearing a helmet for a while. Nope. To me, "helmet head" is my hair after it's gelled and dried. It's about as hard as a fibreglass helmet. My friends enjoy pushing down and cracking the layer of gel on my bangs, which reduces my hair back to its somewhat-foofy nature.
For the last few days I've been at a loss for hair gel. It ran out. I also thought I was at a loss for cash, so I could not replenish my supply. I've had to spend the last while soaking my hair about 3-4 times a day just so it doesn't go foofy, which is rather difficult in this humidity. My lack of helmet hair made me feel weak, unable to carry on with life. It's like foofy hair is my Kryptonite, or something like that. But now I have money, and hair gel.
(Though I discovered yesterday that my debit account had $8 left in it the entire time I thought I was without any cash, so I could have purchased the $1.60 bottle after all. Go figure.)
Today's Lesson: When given proper time to let all the lessons get drilled into my head, I can in fact dance. And not just "badly" either!
posted by Phillip at 6:44 PM
